In recent years, a growing number of Kenyan men, particularly Millennials and Gen Z, have been delaying marriage or avoiding it entirely.
Unlike in the past, when marriage was considered a natural step once a person secured a stable job, today’s young men are approaching it with more caution.
Their reasons reflect the challenges and realities of modern life, prompting President William Ruto to encourage men to embrace marriage and move away from lifestyles centered on club-hopping.
“Those of you who are above the age of 25, get married. Wacha kuzunguka—don’t keep moving from one club to another,” President Ruto urged.
Here are some of the main reasons why many Kenyan men over 25 are hesitant about marriage.
Marriage Is No Longer Seen as an Achievement
For many Millennials and Gen Z men, marriage is not considered a milestone or a necessary life achievement. They view it as optional and something that should bring happiness, rather than a compulsory stage of life.
Dennis Itumbi, Head of Presidential Special Projects and the Creative Economy, has openly stated that marriage should not be seen as mandatory. In an interview with SPM Buzz, he said:
“I am opposed to it; I do not think it is a compulsory rite of life. I think it is there to make people happy. If the issue of marriage is children, I can get children without marriage; if the issue is companionship, you can get companionship without marriage.
I do not see one compelling reason why marriage is compulsory. Marriage is a good thing, but sio lazima. Marriage is not an achievement of life.”
Rising Cost of Living
The increasing cost of living is another major reason men are delaying marriage. With salaries not growing as fast as expenses, men feel that starting a family is financially overwhelming. Everyday costs such as rent, food, transport, and bills already stretch their income, making the idea of taking on marriage responsibilities even more daunting.
Many men feel an intense pressure to provide for their families, and when even basic needs are hard to meet, marriage can feel like an impossible burden.
Unemployment and Job Insecurity
Job insecurity and unemployment also play a major role. Many Kenyan men in their late 20s and early 30s do not have stable, well-paying employment. Without financial stability, committing to marriage becomes risky. Delaying marriage, in this context, is not a rejection of the institution—it is a survival strategy.
Fear of Divorce
Another factor influencing men’s hesitation is the fear of divorce. Growing up, many have witnessed parents, relatives, and even celebrities go through painful breakups and bitter separations.
In a world where relationship conflicts can quickly become public on social media, the fear of entering a union that may fail is real. This has made many young men cautious about marriage, as they want to avoid emotional and social complications.
Changing Life Priorities
Unlike previous generations, which often followed a predictable path of school–work–marriage, today’s youth are exploring personal growth, careers, side hustles, travel, and self-discovery before settling down.
This generation places a higher value on mental health, personal boundaries, and overall stability before taking on long-term commitments. They are more conscious of what they need emotionally, financially, and mentally before entering marriage.
Influence of Social Media
Social media platforms like TikTok and Instagram have also changed the way young men view relationships. They promote lifestyles of independence, casual dating, and what is often called the “soft life.”
Some men feel pressured to match the lifestyles and financial standards portrayed online, while others simply prefer to remain single to avoid such pressures.
Social media has, in many ways, shifted expectations around marriage and relationships, making long-term commitment feel less appealing to some.
In conclusion, the hesitation among Kenyan men above 25 to marry is influenced by a combination of financial challenges, social pressures, personal priorities, and evolving perceptions of what marriage represents.
While the traditional view saw marriage as an inevitable part of adulthood, today’s young men approach it cautiously, carefully weighing its emotional, social, and financial implications before making such a major life decision.
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